79 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching the Game of Thrones Episode, "The Spoils of War"

Monday, 7 August 2017


As the weeks go on, I am having more and more issues with the ways David Benioff and D. B. Weiss are choosing to take the story, but that does not mean that my earlier motivation to keep watching hasn't returned in full-force in preparation for episode four, "The Spoils of War".

  1. Riiiiight. Now I understand why Cersei was so eager to let Jaime go and capture Highgarden as opposed to him continuing to guard Casterly Rock: gold. After-all, it is the one thing that Lannisters love more than themselves.
  2. Jaime's defences against criticism of Cersei are definitely getting weaker. I don't even know why he bothers.
  3. I thought Bronn already has a castle? Is he vying after a bigger one?
  4. Jaime and Bronn as a double act are just fantastic. I love their relationship and the comedic element it brings to the show. Both of them just have tremendous wit and it is really great to see bounce off of one another on-screen.
  5. I still think Cersei should've just set fire to him, it would've been more in-character
  6. God, the Iron Bank is so interchangeable with where their allegiances lie. I definitely wouldn't want them on my side, gold may win wars, but they also lose them too.
  7. ...Did he just say "golden company"? Anyone up for a gilded skull?
  8. So a new leader of Winterfell has shown up, and suddenly, Littlefinger now wants to talk to someone other than Sansa. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be
  9. Is Littlefinger seriously giving Bran the dagger that he sent someone to kill him with? What a bell-end.
  10. Seriously, a character has never irritated me more
  11. Catelyn, Catelyn, fucking Catelyn
  12. The woman has been dead for four seasons, and before that, she was married to another man for twenty years! He really needs to get over her, it's pathetic
  13. So in his twisted worldview, Littlefinger thinks that he did Bran a favour by attempting to murder him? Fuck. Off.
  14. Can Bran see Littlefinger plotting his death?
  15. Also, if he loved Catelyn as much as he keeps saying that he does, he wouldn't have sent someone to kill her son. You don't do that to someone you love, you don't put them through so much pain
  16. "Catelyn" *Littlefinger wanks* "Chaos" *Littlefinger wanks*. What a weird man
  17. "Chaos is a ladder" BAM
  18. Maybe weird!Bran is an asset after-all
  19. "You don't need me anymore" "No, I don't" I mean, Bran you could be a little bit more sentimental, Jesus Christ. You two have just survived months in the freezing wilderness with only each other for company, surely that has to mean something even to the three-eyed raven
  20. Go Meera, tell him, girl
  21. Aw, I miss Jojen and Hodor and Summer. We lost some really amazing characters just to bring Bran back as.... this
  22. I wonder how Howland Reed is doing... I mean, are we ever going to meet him?
  23. With the amount of build-up, they're going to have to find a bloody Oscar-winner to play him
  24. Oh and here we have another Stark back at Winterfell. God, it's like an epilogue at the end of a Thomas Hardy novel
  25. Ser Rodrick and Maester Luwin... god, I nearly cried just hearing those names
  26. After the show is over, Sean Bean's grave statue really needs to be put in Madame Tussaud's
  27. And here, yet again we have more backstory that we have ALREADY SEEN. This is why I don't like character reunions
  28. SEE! Sansa has just given Arya all of the details on Bran off-screen
  29. It is as though the writers think that we have forgotten everything that has happened prior to four or so episodes ago
  30. It's like Avengers Assemble. All of our heroes have just so happened to all end up on the same side
  31. I mean, apart from Jaime, obviously
  32. Now if Littlefinger would just jump ship to Cersei's camp only to be burnt alive as a traitor
  33. Even Queens need a little girl talk
  34. Dany is leaving her servants behind? She is definitely starting to trust Jon
  35. Wow, what a powerful and badly-lit moment
  36. God, I hate caves. Just watching this is making me feel slightly claustrophobic
  37. Cave drawings???
  38. Was the physical contact absolutely necessary?
  39. Oh look, it's all wrapping up quite nicely into a little parallel about Jon and Dany's relationship. How unexpected...
  40. Is that UST I'm sensing? Oh HBO, you saucy devil
  41. Why do I feel as though Jon bending the knee is going to be turned into some sort of sex act?
  42. He has quite the talent for the "lord's kiss" after-all
  43. Oh shiiiiiit.
  44. I definitely wouldn't want to be the one to tell Dany that they'd lost the Reach.
  45. Dany and Jon actually make a rather good pair. He's brooding and practical whilst she is passionate and obviously rather hot-headed, they will balance one another out, whether it ends up just being something platonic (with HBO, not likely) or something more romantic in nature
  46. Pod, how I love you. I don't know how you're still alive, but I love you
  47. Like seriously, how is he still alive?
  48. And how he has survived seven seasons and yet still doesn't know how to fight?
  49. I have a feeling that this isn't going to end well
  50. Go, Arya!
  51. Brienne has to be one of the best sword fighters in Westeros, so if Arya is up there and able to go toe-to-toe with her, she is pretty damn awesome. It's ridiculous to think that she is already at that level at around 16, I can't even imagine what she'll be like if she makes it to the end of the series.
  52. Pleeeeeease tell me that she is going to kill Littlefinger
  53. Wow. Four episodes in and Dragonstone still takes my breath away
  54. Davos is all "flea bottom accent" and then says "whom"... nah mate, you are just a Geordie
  55. "I've noticed you staring at her good heart" OMG
  56. "There's no time for that" Jon, there's always time for that
  57. Missandei just asked what a bastard was. Babe, have you seen any of the show?
  58. "Will you forgive me if I switch sides?" Oh Davos, you've become quite funny
  59. Shiiiit, Jon is going to fucking kill Theon
  60. They're all so still behind Jon that they look like a green screen
  61. Oh wait, no, one shuffled
  62. Apparently the Reach looks like the wild, wild west
  63. Did he just roll his eyes at Jaime?
  64. Please don't tell me that Dany is going to turn Bronn and Jaime into a remake of the "Field of Fire"
  65. Oh shiiiit, she is, isn't she?
  66. Spears and shields aren't going to be much use against a dragon
  67. This is not going to end well
  68. Oh
  69. My
  70. God
  71. I love that the Dothraki just don't care. Shield, spear? They're just going to keep going
  72. This does not look good for Bronn and Jaime
  73. This is why you should never declare the Mother of Dragons as an enemy. Someone with that moniker is an exceedingly valuable ally to have
  74. Jaime, RUN! Get the fuck out of there!
  75. There has to be some honour in abandoning your men when the alternative is being burnt alive by dragon fire
  76. Wow, this scene is so horrifyingly powerful
  77. Why would you stab an injured dragon? Isn't that similar to baiting an angry dog?
  78. Surely Jaime has a stronger sense of self-preservation than this lunacy
  79. With his final act being so idiotic, I hope that Jaime is survives this. As one of my favourite characters, and I am sure that many, many, many other people agree with me on this, Jaime deserves a better ending

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