133 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching the Game of Thrones Episode, "Beyond the Wall"

Monday, 21 August 2017

 As the greatest warriors that Westeros has ever seen go beyond the Wall to take the first step in the worst plan that I have ever seen, I am having to ignore more and more errors to continue watching the drama of Game of Thrones. It is almost becoming like one of those absolutely terrible movies that I have to watch, in which I have to not pay attention to certain aspects of it, in order to continue in my enjoyment of it. Although of course, even now in season seven, Game of Thrones is far from bad. It is just that, once you have dealt with near-literary perfection, it is difficult to watch it being warped into something unrecognisable.

  1. If anyone dies in this stupid lets-show-Cersei-a-zombie mission, I will be so pissed off. She already has a zombie! She won't fucking care
  2. I just don't understand how they think that by showing her one, it will do them any good or move anything forward. Cersei is not going to send troops north, she's not going to propose an alliance or give Dany the throne because of the threat of the dead. The one thing that Cersei loves more than herself is power, after-all she has just set fire to most of King's Landing to be able to get the throne, there's no way she's going to give it up for something like this
  3. And anyway, Cersei is so arrogant that even if she believes in the threat of the dead, she will somehow convince herself that, because of her relationship with the undead Mountain, they will not do her any harm
  4. Jon, Tormund is known as the Husband of Bears, clearly he doesn't need a woman to have sex
  5. This is such a random bunch of characters. They have so many issues and old grudges between them, and I suppose they would never be caught dead in the same room together without killing one other in any normal circumstance. It shows how the threat of humanity being wiped out by the army of the dead really brings people together
  6. But that still doesn't mean that they're going to be able to convince Cersei to join them
  7. I wouldn't be surprised that if, by the end of all of this, literally every character is on the same side working towards the War for the Dawn, apart from Cersei
  8. "This one has been killed six times, you don't hear him bitching about it"
  9. Oh Sandor, I am so happy that you're back
  10. Them all being together like, and the conversation between Jorah and Jon especially, shows that even the most different of people, still share some things in common
  11. Noooooo, don't give him Longclaw 
  12. What the bloody hell is he doing? Jon and his fucking honour
  13. Oh thank God
  14. Aw, I hope that Jon has babies. They would be so damn cute
  15. There's been so many throwbacks to the first season, and I am not even going to attempt to lie and say that I like it, because I really, really don't. It's not coming off as reminiscing which it most certainly thinks that is, it's definitely leaning more onto the side of exposition
  16. I don't understand what Arya thinks Sansa has been doing? She realises how much she herself has changed, why can't she see that Sansa has too? I'm starting to think that she believes that Joffrey was a kind and loving husband to Sansa, and Ramsay as well. And now, when she has seen that Jon is in power and there is a chance of her rising in status, she's now chosen to side with him
  17. Because their horrors are not same, it seems that Arya does not recognise that Sansa has experienced them as well 
  18. Arya still seems like a jealous little girl, despite how much she has grown in other ways. The horrors of war and the faceless men have not seemed to dull her bitterness towards Sansa whilst they have been apart. Whilst, for some reason, I thought that Arya would begin to miss the things about her sister that had once irritated her
  19. Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after-all
  20. "You never would have survived what I survived" Sansa is right, Arya wouldn't have
  21. Sandor does have sad eyes
  22. Oh, my God! This is fantastic
  23. Hands down my favourite Game of Thrones exchange ever
  24. "I want to make babies with her. Think of them - great big monsters, they'd conquer the world"
  25. I love that Tormund sees Brienne's beauty, it shows how different and subjective cultural ideals towards it are
  26. Jon most certainly does not serve the Lord of Light, like no, no way in hell
  27. I have a feeling that Beric isn't going to survive this
  28. I have no idea why, I just do
  29. Dany is right about heroes - they are all just trying to outdo each other. It is like a competition in which they all want to be the one who the world remembers
  30. She definitely has a thing for Jon and I actually kind of like it
  31. I love how they're making Kit Harington's height a plot-point
  32. Is this the start of Dany's descent into madness? She's definitely leaning more and more towards it as the season progresses
  33. Known to lose her temper? Tyrion is definitely putting that lightly
  34. "As all great leaders do" His words are actually kind of mirroring Illyrio speaking to Viserys right now
  35. And we all know how well that turned out
  36. Oh wait, they are continuing with the idea that the whole horrific situation with Rhaego left Dany unable to have any more children. Right, the Mother of Dragons title still works in the sense that it has a deeper level of meaning then
  37. The snow storm is making me cold just by looking at it
  38. How the fuck can Gendry tell that it has got blue eyes? I can barely tell it's a bear
  39. Are they sure it's not a dinosaur? It definitely looks more like one than a bear to me
  40. Ohhhhh riiiiight, now I can tell it's a bear
  41. Were Thoros and Beric seriously just like 'fire sword, activate'?
  42. A flaming bear??? Sandor is fucked
  43. Wait, so Thoros is the only one who is injured? What were the others doing? Just watching???
  44. I can understand Sandor hesitating and not wanting to get involved, but what about Jon and his Valyrian steel sword? Or Gendry and his war hammer?
  45. And, how did he heal him? Are Beric and Thoros now invincible, even alongside the whole resurrection thing? Or did he just cauterise his wounds so that he has the chance to stay alive a bit longer?
  46. What would be the end goal in Littlefinger isolated Sansa from the rest of her family? Is it simply because he thinks that, without them around her, she will fall into his lecherous arms? Ugh, creep
  47. "They're all bloody wind vanes"??? I mean, she has a point
  48. Ugh, he is so gross
  49. The way that the snow has fallen on Jon's hair makes it look as though he's greying
  50. What a beautiful landscape. The location team is seriously hitting it out of the park this season
  51. They don't have enough people to even be able to kill a group of wights of this size. How in the hell are they planning on doing it?
  52. Ahhh, now I understand
  53. But that's seriously fucked them in being able to capture one
  54. Wait. How is it that one survived? Like, literally just that one? That's bollocks
  55. Oo, it has set off its bat signal now, this is not going to end well
  56. Sandor has fireman-lifted a fucking ice zombie. Like, I can't even anymore
  57. What
  58. The 
  59. Fuck
  60. With the bag over its head and it being tied up, this situation is really reminding me of those stag dos in which all of the mates kidnap the groom-to-be
  61. Like, it's literally that ridiculous
  62. And now they're on a frozen over lake
  63. ...I need a moment
  64. Right, unpause: here we go again
  65. I already know that all the army of the dead are going to break through the ice and fall into the lake. I mean, how many movies has that happened in? Like, seriously?
  66. Oh wait no, they're going around it. At least they have more sense and they're zombies, so these guys really are stupid
  68. I told you
  69. How fucking predictable
  70. How far does Gendry have to run to get back to the Wall? It seems as though they've been walking for days
  71. He's gotten there bloody quick. It must not have been that far
  72. Come on, Gendry! Don't die from exhaustion before your reunion with Arya
  73. He would be the fucking idiot who collapsed at the gates
  74. Oh God, Thoros is dead. I wasn't expecting that at least
  75. Aw that is sad
  76. He's not going to kill the Night's King
  77. Like, that plan is going to go about as well as when Jaime tried to kill the dragon
  78. What is Cersei inviting them to? Is she just going to gather them all in a room and burn them alive? It's becoming rather repetitive
  79. Are we about to see a Jaime and Brienne reunion?
  80. My OTP together at last
  81. What is the bloody hell is Podrick going to be able to do? 
  82. I understand that Sansa believes that she doesn't need to be protected, but if she seriously thinks that she can stand toe-to-toe with Littlefinger, I think that she is much mistaken
  83. However powerful she is now, he is still able to twist and manipulate and cause trouble better than any other character on the show
  84. Ooo, I love Dany's winter outfit
  85. Of course Sandor would be the one taunting the terrifying army of the dead
  86. That fucking fire sword
  87. Fucking hell, Dany needs to get there soon, otherwise, they're fucked
  88. Come on, Tormund!
  89. They're not doing a good job of falling back
  90. Oh, thank God
  91. Fucking hell. That was Walking Dead-level savage
  92. Come on Dany, where are you????
  93. I have never been so happy to see people burn
  94. Jon being the hero, trying to impress his lady-love
  95. Awe, they're such a power couple
  96. Jon, you're not going to be able to kill every single one of them, so just get on the fucking dragon
  97. You could have been flying away by now but instead, you're probably going to fall victim to whatever weird shit the Night's King is planning
  98. Also, did anyone notice that he didn't pick up his own ice staff-thing? It's like when Rafael Nadal got the ballboy to put his rubbish in the bin for him, despite the fact that it was right next to him
  99. Holy shit
  100. It's not a staff, it's an arrow!
  101. We seriously need to contract the Night's King for the GB athletics team, he's a bloody great javelin thrower
  102. Aw poor baby. I am feeling the same things about that dragon as when dogs die in movies. Which probably says something about dangerous animals being seen as cute, cuddly and possible pets
  103. She raised them from babies
  104. And the other dragon crying
  105. I'm so upset
  106. Jon, don't be stupid
  107. Although, avenging the death of her dragon would seriously move Jon closer to being allowed in her bed
  108. SHIT
  109. There's no way he'd survive so long under water. Especially at that temperature
  110. Let me guess, Benjen?
  111. Knew it
  112. I still don't understand how Benjen is a wight, he's so animated
  113. It is a fitting death for him though, saving Jon
  114. Dany won't leave Eastwatch, she still thinks he's alive. Damnit, they're so cute
  115. Jorah is like 'damn! another rival for her affections'
  116. I want Jorah to find someone who loves him just as much as he loves Dany. Although, I cannot imagine that that is going happen, I don't really think he's going to survive the series.
  117. It's weird seeing a Targaryen flag
  118. Why have turn the faces into knockoff Halloween masks?
  119. "The world doesn't just let girls decide what they're going to be"
  120. This is so weird
  121. I just don't understand Arya. Apart from their relationship as children, why would she want to kill her? She most certainly didn't want to kill her before the series began, she was just bitter and jealous and irritated by her... So why would her time with the faceless men magnify that into something murderous?
  122. I wish you'd never gone - you've killed one of the dragons and for what? A useless zombie that is probably going to deactivate or turn to dust when it is out of range? I'm so pissed off by this entire mission. WHERE IS THE LOGIC AND THE STRATEGY??
  123. Oh my god, he called her Dany
  124. Yes, "Dany", call her something that only you call her
  125. They're making me so happy
  126. I'm officially squeeing like a twelve-year-old 
  127. God damnit, you lovebirds
  128. Chain? Where they did they get that from?
  129. Oh nooooo
  130. OH NO
  131. They've turned it into a fucking ice dragon, haven't they?
  132. I don't want it to be evil, oh my poor baby
  133. Ugh, the Night's King sucks

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