96 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching the Game of Thrones Episode, "Stormborn"

Last week, riddled by insomnia and far from sleep, I thought that it would be a good idea to give the internet my thoughts on the Game of Thrones premiere. I didn't think that I would like it, I didn't even think that I would be able to get through the episode, but the content of the premiere was a rather shocking surprise. Ever since, the show has got me hooked like it did in the old days, and I've been wondering all week what will happen next in the journey towards the Long Night.
So, why don't we find out?

1. It's so weird comparing the map in the opening sequence to the one in the first season. I mean, apart from King's Landing and Winterfell, I'm pretty sure that all the places in which the drama happens during the season seven, are new.
2. She might be called "Stormborn" but I can't imagine that Dany is used to weather like this.
3. Yeah, but you're not Viserys, are you Dany? He never ruled over any people or land, despite being the rightful heir to the throne, he was nothing more than a boy whose crown had gotten snatched away before he had even gotten the chance to wear it. And, after the far too long occupation of Mereen, now you can actually call yourself a Queen.
4. "Queen of the Ashes"?? Looking more and more like a possibility nowadays
5. Please don't kill Varys!
6. Even though his power is subtle and hidden, not obvious like Cersei's showboating, he wields a great deal so I could definitely get behind Varys as the King of Westeros, if that is ever a possibility. Although, because his power is subtle and hidden, I don't know if he would ever accept the job, I think that he prefers it behind-the-scenes
7. Varys always makes me think of Littlefinger as they're really opposite sides of the same coin. They both plot and scheme and spy, but Varys is doing it for the good of the people, whilst Littlefinger is doing it to advance his own position.
8. Varys and Dany are really a perfect match. There has always been the worry that Dany's story will include the same Targaryen madness and penchant for burning things (evidence of this has already been shown) as her father, but with Varys by her side, he should be able to avert this ending to her story. Like, I love Jorah as much as the next person, but he was far too blinded by his love for her to ever step in and tell her that she was making a mistake.
9. Oh fuuuuuuuuuck. This is not good.
10. Missandei dropping grammatical corrections that we've wanted to know since the prophecy's first mention - "the prince or princess who was promised". Oh, you babe.
11. Is Melisandre just going to jump round Westeros proclaiming everyone "the prince who was promised"??? It can't be fucking everyone
12. First mention of Jon Snow to Dany. I like where this is going.
13. Those archers aren't exactly Arya, are they? They should bring her North to train them
14. "All dwarves are bastards in their fathers' eyes" Tyrion certainly fixed that, didn't he?
15. Go, Jon! Go meet with her!
16. Would the Dothrakis survive north of the Wall? Would they even survive the conditions of the North?
17. I'm kind of gutted that they've replaced Freddie Stroma as Dickon Tarly. He plays arrogant arsehole incredibly well.
18. And you and your army, wouldn't do any of that, Cersei? Isn't that what has already happened in places like the Riverlands? I know we're not seeing much of what is happening to the common people of Westeros, but they're definitely getting the worst end of this deal.
19. Jaime remembers the horrors that the Mad King inflicted on his people. Hopefully enough to eventually kill the real person who is following in his footsteps. 
20. Let me give you a clue as to who that is: their name starts with 'C' ends with 'ersei'
21. Technically I don't believe Dany has actually ever fed someone to her dragons
22. Although Dany's actions, without the context behind them, are rather easy to turn into a story like this. She probably should've put more thought into her reputation and how her actions would be viewed, as an important part of ruling is image control. Cersei has it nailed (it's probably the only thing she's good at), Dany, not so much.
23. Qyburn at work on a solution??? That will never end well
24. "Rickard is it?" "Dickon" LOL
25. Lord Tarly is supposedly one of the greatest battle commanders ever, he's a good ally to have but his personality fucking sucks.
26. Fucking hell, Jorah looks awful.
27. Suicide?? You're proposing suicide???
28. If that is just the skull, I'd hate to see the rest of the dragon.
29. What the fuck is that?
30. God, I hate what they've done to Ellaria.
31. I like how they've all come together as tenuous allies. It's a good dynamic, but I don't know how long it's going to be until someone turns on the rest of them.
32. They're hitting Casterly Rock?? I can imagine that Tyrion took extra-special joy putting together that plan
33. I wonder if Olenna's influence on Dany will lead to victory, or a spiral into madness. Whilst Varys is there for the good of the people and to tell Dany that she's going crazy, Olenna will probably encourage those traits in her. It will be interesting to see what kind of Queen she becomes under both of their influences.
34. I ship Greyworm and Missandei so damn hard.
35. Greyworm has become so damn eloquent. Even I am getting wooed by his words
36. That's not fear, that's looooove
37. Damn, she's got such a good body. I'm so jealous
38. Oh, so that's how the Unsullied have sex. No complaints here
39. I was waiting for a title drop
40. "May I just have a moment?" "This is your moment. Use it wisely."
41. I can't help but still find comedy from Sam, even though the conversation is so serious
42. Jorah is using his final moments to send a letter to Dany and I love him even more than I thought that I could
43. I mean, of course they're not really his final moments, but you get what I mean
44. "You're not dying today, Ser Jorah" Eeeeeeeeeeeee
45. Fucking hell, I love Sam
46. Jorah's like, "wtf am I getting myself into?" and I don't blame him
47. Please don't tell me we're going to watch Sam flay Jorah
48. Oh shit, yes we are
49. Oh wow, what a disgusting scene transition
50. Hot Pie!
51. "Have you been making pies?" "One or two" Oh poor, innocent Hot Pie
52. I don't know how she can still eat pies. I definitely wouldn't be able to
53. But then I don't think I'd be able to cook people-pies in the first place
54. I love that, in-universe, they call it the Battle of the Bastards
55. Does this mean that Jon and Arya are going to finally be reunited? 
56. Their dynamic will be far better than his and Sansa's
57. Although I think that, after Arya's time at the House of Black and White, their views will be even more opposing
58. Please let Hot Pie survive the wars to come
59. South to King's Landing? Or North to Winterfell? That is the question
60. Side note: I've been watching too much Love Island recently and now I've got Crossroads by Blazing Squad in my head
61. Arya choosing to go North means there's a little of her old self still there
62. Jon, you're great and everything, but your map is definitely the shittest
63. Dragonstone = dragonglass. It shouldn't have taken them Sam going to Oldtown to work this out, let's be honest
64. Uh-oh, we definitely don't need another rebellion. If Jon goes off to Dragonstone, 100% the Lords of the Vale (who's actually governing over the Vale whilst they argue in the North?) will lead one. I don't trust Yohn Royce and I know it's not just because he's character in Heartbeat was an arse.
65. Sansa really needs to stop undermining Jon in front of their subjects, it gives others permission to do the same
66. "Winter is here. We need the King of the North in the north" As much as I want Jon to go dashing off to Dragonstone, Lyanna has a point
67. Don't give the North to Sansa! This is exactly like when Robb gave Winterfell to Theon... and look how well that turned out
68. Anything that Littlefinger looks happy about, is the wrong decision
69. Wow, that statue really looks like Sean Bean. Bravo props department
70. Oh fuck off, Littlefinger, you're the one who plotted his death
71. Littlefinger's accent is such an horrendous acting choice. I liked it better when he lurked silently in dark corners
72. Kill him, kill him, kill him
73. Jon should've killed him. Everyone knows what Littlefinger is like when his pride his hurt
74. I know that it's a sign that winter, and the white walkers, are coming, but the snow is so damn pretty
75. I wonder who this could be... #theinternetspoilseverything
76. Nymeria is alive, bitches
77. And she's fucking huge
78. Nooooooooooooo!
79. Like Ellaria, I hate what they've done to the Sand Snakes
80. I mean, they've been in the show three(?) seasons now and I still don't know whose who
81. Theon being the third wheel really does sum up his life at this point
82. "A boy in every port?" "A boy, a girl. It depends on the port." I love Yara
83. An incestuous threesome? Oh I've seen it all now
84. How did Euron capture the ship so easily?
85. He's more like a rockstar than supposedly terrifying pirate. I mean, his ship is not even painted red
86. If this was real, with the state that he's in, would Theon really survive this battle?
87. It's weird how quickly he's bounced back from years of emotional and physical torture at the hands of Ramsay Bolton
88. He had an arrow in his carotid artery, how is Euron still even alive?
89. Some enchantments, perhaps?
90. Dany's chances of taking over King's Landing with the Iron Fleet are looking rather bleak
91. He jumped into the sea??? He JUMPED into the SEA?????
92. What the fuck are you doing, Theon?
93. I mean, he's probably saving himself to go back and report to Dany, but Yara is his sister - would he really abandon her like that??
94. What is even keeping Theon afloat?
95. Although if it's a dead body, I would really rather not know
96. He's like Rose from Titanic, now, if only he had a whistle...